Feelings and regret
by tokyomewmewrocks
Summary: Kisshu moves on and finds a new girl!This is my one-shot of Ichigo's perspective and feelings! No spoilers! Review and Enjoy! This is sad!


**Hiya People! I was thinking of ideas and I came up with one by listening to random music! This is a one-shot. I'm just saying for clarification. I hope you enjoy! Please Review and I also want to say that I think that New Species is officially on hold for now! Sorry to those who liked it and enjoyed reading! Anyways! R&R!**

**xxxMew Jadexxx**

It was a rainy day in Tokyo. The air felt refreshing against the young red heads skin. Her thoughts were rushing through her head and her heart was pounding against her chest. Her heartbeat was ringing through her ears and her pulse was hard in her throat. _What has she been doing with her life lately?_ That thought was one of the many she couldn't answer. She didn't know why, was it because she was afraid to admit? Or was she afraid to remember? Or was it that she just didn't want to because she wouldn't like the answer? Tears pricked at her eyes before streaming down her cheeks like a burst pipe. Her jolly personality had faded away along with the feelings she no longer knew how to express. The only thing that remained familiar to her was depression and pain. Her soaking hair stuck to her numb face and skin. She didn't care anymore, she couldn't care anymore. The pale skin around her eyes was a light rosy pink identical to which of her cheeks. The rollercoaster of life was a terribly bumpy, rough ride for her. There were scars and bruises of purple, blue and red on her wrists from the multiple times she had pulled out a blade and pierced her skin and let the blood trickle down her tender flesh. That wasn't enough for her anymore. She started drinking alcohol. It blurred her memory, took it away from her, it intoxicated her. However, she never had enough to get drunk but she was considering it...

She walked down the alley way on her right and leaned against the dark brick wall pulling out her cell phone. Pai had created a chat room for the mews and aliens. There was one profile she had always stared at as she cried and filled herself with the feelings of regret. It was Kisshu. All her rejections led to all her frustration and pain. It hurt to be reminded of him but it was the kind of pain she really liked. He moved on. She was in the wrong all along but was to blind and caught up in her stupid crush to ever realise. She let out a quiet whimper and sat on her knees. He found someone new. He had to. It was all her fault, all her doing, he was in pain and sacrificed himself for her but it didn't change the fact that she was stubborn and still an idiot.

The pleasant silence for her thoughts didn't last long however. They had been interrupted when she heard the voice of an unknown man that seemed to be drunk just the same as the rest of his rowdy gang. A surge of panic washed over her as her heart started pounding and thrashing against the inside of her chest making her eyes widen while looking at the men approaching. The two men on both the left and right of the leader lunged at her and pinned her wrists onto the wall sending a rush of adrenaline through the girl's body. It hurt. A lot. The leader pressed his bitter lips against her soft plump ones before urging his tongue into her mouth forcefully as the others nibbled against her soft skin...

She lay in bed thinking over the previous events that occurred late at night. She couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that she was against a brick wall held in place for only a few minutes that lasted an eternity to her. She was ever so thankful to the woman who had passed by the alley were the incident occurred and she had called the police. Tough that didn't change the fact that she was still drowning in her problems, not knowing if she should share them or if she should keep them under lock and key inside herself. It was 12:30 but it didn't bother her slightest. She tossed and turned roughly and vigorously while her constant pondering led to the heavy weights that hung on her eyelids, urging them to slide shut. If only they would but stay shut and she would be trapped in a dream from which she would never awaken.

The sun shone through the gap between the curtains and awakened the weak posed body that let out a groan. All the things she would have given for this day never to have come. Her legs felt numb, it wasn't from the cold outside and wasn't from any of the reasons she could think of. Her body slowly lifted into a sitting position and then pushed the blankets back. Gently yet carelessly, she placed her feet onto the light carpeted floor and stood not knowing that walking down the steps of the staircase would bring even more terrible news...

There on the marble counter lay a rigid edged sheet of lined paper that had some words scribbled onto it:

_We've taken a cruise to the Caribbean! We'll stay there for the next month. The money will be sent to you once every month! _

_Love mum._

She tossed the piece of scrunched up paper into the bin on the left side of the kitchen before pulling on some sneakers and sprinting down to Tokyo bay. The gloomy day didn't matter to her anymore, neither did the weather. The morning mist and gloom spread throughout the air created a depressing atmosphere. It still didn't matter. Then and there she took a leap into the crashing crystal cold waves. Just before hitting the water she muttered something only heard by one person herself...

_I'm sorry Kisshu...I love you!_

And that was the only sound she listened to before sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness. Slowly her eyes slid shut as she hit the bottom of the ocean...

_The body was found a year later by a young fisherman and the aliens and mews grieved over the sight of the lifeless and motionless body..._


End file.
